Allow Space for Jealousy

Allow Space for Jealousy

When I first began researching ethical non-monogamy and the different forms of it. There's always that first question that everyone always asks. What about jealousy? How can you share your partner with someone else, wont it make you jealous? And to be a hundred percent honest, yes, jealousy happens. Sometimes its intense and overwhelming. And sometimes its not.

The more important question is what do you do with these feelings?

Because I also get jealous of football, or the phone, or anything really. Hey if I need his attention and I cant have it, guess what ... I'm jealous. Does that mean he should never watch football or look at his cell phone? Obviously no. What I do with it is say to myself, this is momentary, it will pass, I love him, he loves me. yadda yadda, whatever you do to cope when you have unpleasant feelings.

What bothers me much much more than jealousy are two things. Lying and being left out. Which essentially come down to the same point. I'd rather know, hey you wanna fuck Suzy next door? great! lets talk about it. Jealousy is a knee jerk reaction. It happens, I/we cant control it. But on the other side of that? Oh my god, it gets quite amazing. Like yes please, this can go so many ways!

Lets go see if Suzy's husband is hot so we can swap. Boom, Swinger party time.

Oh she's single? Well lets see if she likes girls. Boom, threesome fun!

Oh you want to play with her alone? (jealous again, but I can work thru it). 

Because the next thing for me is fuck ya, tell me how hot this chick is and how bad she wants your cock and I cant wait to be involved in allowing her to have some. (please let me suck your dick after you fuck her!) And I can go have some one-on-one fun with someone too, win-win.

I guess the hottest thing about being able to get thru the jealousy is that the other side can be so amazingly fun. Ya, the initial conversation is awkward and scary but do it anyway. Be gentle, be kind, be compassionate. Share fantasies no matter how crazy. Let the jealousy come and go and talk about it! Allow space for jealousy, thats the only way you'll get thru it.