What is ENM and why should you care? - Not Very Vanilla

What is ENM and why should you care?

ENM has slowly become a more common acronym. It stands for Ethical Non-monogamy. Which probably sounds like an oxymoron to those who have never heard of it before. But its actually possible to have a non-monogamous relationship as well as be honest and ethical about your feelings and actions. Saying you are ENM is not a green light to cheat, in fact it’s quite the opposite. The hardest part is figuring out how to communicate and be open to changes along the way. The key is to be open minded and curious about not only your partner’s wants but your own as well.

It’s sort of a blanket term used for all the different ways 2 (or more) people may agree to structure their relationship. The options and configurations are endless. There is nothing you can think up that hasn’t been done before. Go ahead and imagine the wildest craziest scenario you can, and guess what. There’s probably already a name for it and group in every major city having a meeting about it.

Here’s a few reasons why you should care, even if you decide you are 100 percent monogamous. You should be intentional about your decision to be monogamous; it shouldn’t just be a default. Even if you are monogamous, it is possible that your partner may not be a hundred percent monogamous, so you will want to find a way to be sensitive and respectful of those feelings. Even if you are a hundred percent monogamous, you most likely know someone who isn’t. Those of us who have discovered how to be in tune with our non-monogamous lifestyle are not monsters or cheaters or creeps. We have standards and morals and ethics. Most likely we have worked thru some tough self-shame and harsh judgments by those we thought we could confide in. We don’t need any more of that
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